Ok, it’s noon Thursday, and as promised, I’m revealing my newest business venture. I am pleased to announce that I am now an Independent Beachbody Coach. You have probably seen an infomercial about one of the several products this company provides. I was first introduced to the company with P90X back in 2009. Colleen and I saw one of the infomercials on TV and decided to try it out. It’s one of the best purchases either one of us ever made! If you didn’t already know this, I credit P90X as one of my ultimate success secrets of 24 Hour Mountain Bike racing, as well as an incredible tool for maintaining my Paleo Fitness. When I found out Beachbody had a coaching program, I jumped all over it!

I have setup a separate page on this blog that goes over the products and services. Click the “Fitness Coaching” tab up top, or just click here.  I am super excited about this new opportunity! Please spread the good word!

 

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is
more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded
genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” ~ Calvin Coolidge

Real Caveman undoubtedly faced enormous hardship in their times. I can’t imagine how rough life must have been in ancient times. And to think that so many people in this day and age think they have it bad. The cavemen of those times had two choices: succumb to hardship and die, or persist and survive.

I haven’t faced hardship anywhere near the level my caveman brethen did, but I’d be lying if I said  things have been easy the past few months. The separation from my wife has took a huge emotional toll on me. A lot of you have already heard the news, but if you haven’t , Colleen and I have decided that it is in our best interest to end the marriage. She hates it when I post stuff like this on the blog, and I’m sorry Cupcake, but everyone is going to find out eventually and they might as well hear it from me here.

I didn’t just leave behind my marriage, I left behind my home, my family, my friends, everything that was familiar. I left for a place I hardly knew at all. It wasn’t a move I was planning on, it just sort of happened. Luckily, I adapt well to change, but it wasn’t the abrupt initial change that threw me off, this was actually kind of fun and exciting. It was the gradual realization that I didn’t have any friends here. I didn’t have anyone I could fall back on. I hardly had any money and no work lined up. I’ve been struggling to find work to this day. Yeah, Cavemen are tough, but they aren’t made of stone.

You read the last post about how crappy last week was. Kind of regret using the adjective I really used, but it really was a bad week. Well that is all behind me now.

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning

Psalm 30:5

(Thanks to my high school sweetheart Joy Johnson for sharing this verse with me a long time ago)

This week things are different. Completely different. My back pain is almost all gone, I’ve been putting in some serious training time ( almost forgot what it feels like to be sore-it feels awesome!), I’ve made some new friends, I have finally found a little local work, and my entrepreneurial spirit has absolutely exploded. I am currently laying the foundation for a new business venture that will not only provide steady, growing income, but will help others in ways I’ve only dreamed about. Those dreams are about to become reality. And this is just one new business. I’ve actually taken some action to possibly start 2 or 3 other ventures. They are more long term, but the wheels are in motion.

Check back in noon mountain time Thursday for the official press release of the current business venture. I have a feeling it could benefit a lot of you, because it has greatly benefited me and millions others across the world. It’s rather random that I stumbled upon it, but I’m happy I did.

One last bit of news for the day. I think I mentioned somewhere else that I would be traveling back to Texas for a 24 hour race. Well, the rumor is true. I really wanted to give Moab a shot this year since I am living only 4 hours away, in a very similar geographical and climatic region, but the registration fee was just too high. So I’m coming home for none other than the world famous 24 Hours of Rocky Hill to defend my title. It not only makes more financial sense, but I’ve some unfinished business to attend to in Austin.

I likely won’t be in the best shape I’ve been in for years past, but I shouldn’t be too far off. With the temps still reaching 100 right now in Texas, I don’t want to think what the weather will be like come Oct 15. The heat will likely be my biggest challenge to overcome. I remember last year it was pretty warm and I had some problems, and that was being used to it. I also haven’t had as much ride time. My volume right now is very high, but I got  a very late start this year. What I do have in my favor is EPO! I’ve been living at 6500′ and routinely training 7000′-10000′ so hopefully I’ll have some supercharged red blood cells. I also have more climbing strength. You can’t ride anywhere out here without hitting some kind of decent elevation change, so I’ve improved my climbing skills quite a bit.

One other thing I have to my advantage is a really cool junkyard gym. There are some old concrete footings for propane tanks in the backyard, and we have tons of old steel pipe, auto parts, crates, rocks, junk, you name it. I setup a little circuit doing some caveman workout moves that you can study for ideas.

 

 

So, things are finally starting to look up. Durango is my new home, and it is here that I shall rebuild the Caveman legacy and be at peace. Contrary to many a belief, life does not suck and then you die. It throws you challenges to make you stronger and appreciate your blessings. Live, endure, persist.

Last week was a shitty week. I’ve never used that term in my blog before, but there’s not really a better way to put it. I think I had a little racer’s hangover from Snowmass. didn’t even win the 12 hour, but, I was very happy with the effort. I was recovering quickly and ready to get back to training. I was feeling so good early in the week that I was able to throw and split a cord of firewood and then go for a barefoot trail run/hike with a friend Tuesday morning. Tuesday night things started going bad as the relentless daily rains rolled through, this time with the season’s first strong coldfront. It pitter-pattered on the RV roof all night long, and the mercury dropped.

Wednesday morning started cold, wet, gloomy, and only got worse. As I was taking a step up into the RV after fetching some water, my lower back suddenly had a spasm and I fell to the floor. It’s not the first time something like this has happened, so I didn’t panic. However, I knew this would put me out of commission for a few days and not be fun. I was cooking breakfast while it happened. I was cold and still trying to warm up. The roof on the RV was leaking. I had a physical therapy appointment for my shoulder rehab in 15 minutes that now looked like I couldn’t make because I could barely walk. It was not starting out to be a good day.

I called the PT office to tell them my situation, but they convinced me to suck it up and come in anyway, even if I came in late. Therapy helped a little, at least I could walk around ok, but I was still in a lot of pain and not very functional. I tried doing computer work at my desk, but it hurt to sit. The only thing that didn’t hurt was laying down and watching a little tv. Skipped dinner that night but somehow made it to the liquor store to buy some Paisano to help alleviate the pain. Sometimes I forget I’m living at elevation, and if you’ve never drank at elevation, well, it expedites the process. Before I knew it, I was drunk, and then depressed.

After another long cold, wet night, I woke up, with a slight hangover. I hate hangovers, and really didn’t intend to become that drunk, but, the alcohol did dull the pain and I got a solid night’s sleep. I felt only slightly better Thursday, so it was back to the bed and tube for most of the day. It felt like a wasted day. I had a little more vino that evening, careful not to have too much and slept ok.

Friday morning I began to notice some progress. I ran some errands around town and started to do some serious stretching. Saturday was a little better still and I was able to ride a bike into town. By this time, the coldfront had moved out, the rain had seceded, and bright beautiful sunshine was showing its happy face again.

Sunday morning I went to church, and thank goodness I did because I needed some serious uplifting and recharging. That afternoon, I helped my landlord smoke some meat and decided that even though my back still wasn’t 100%, I had to get out and ride. I have chosen the next big race and at this point it is less than a month away. After this back fiasco I have lost a very important week of training, and it is likely to slow me down this coming week, so I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. I likely won’t be in the shape I need to be in to meet my goals, but I’ll have to make do. At least I’ve got some good elevation training to give me a boost.

And as always, I’ve got Rocky. It was a tough week, I’m facing very trying times, but I’m going to do the only thing a Caveman knows how to do, keep on keepin’ on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8xHjC27YvM

At the core of man’s existence is a deep and inquisitive desire for adventure.

-Caveman

I kickstarted my fall race season this past weekend with a trip to Snowmass Village to compete in a 12 hour MTB race. I didn’t have much expectation in the way of competition, other than putting in an honest effort and not giving up. I quit the Warda 12 hour back in February before being seriously injured in a car accident in March that put a halt to just about any exercise for a good 3 months. I hopped in a 6 hr again at Warda in mid summer without much conditioning and had to pull out of that one an hour short due to heat issues. With all the crap I’ve gone through this year, I was due for a quality race with no regrets, and this is exactly what  I found at this. Not only this, but this trip was my first “vacation” in a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed the entire adventure.

Thursday

Left town around 1pm. I’ve never actually driven the million dollar highway from Silverton to Ouray, but got to this time. Absolutely spectacular. Pictures just cannot do it justice, but here are a few I snapped:

The road is twisty as all get out and steep. Not only this, there are no guardrails and if you go off the edge, you are dead. After cresting Red Mountain pass at 11,000 something feet, you drop down into Ouray. This is a really cool mountain

town full of history, charm, and recreation. I didn’t have time to stop since I was aiming to reach my campground by sunset. I made it through Ridgway, Montrose, Delta, Hotchkiss, and Paonia before reaching my destination, a dispersed camp site in the Gunninson National Forest right south of Paonia reservoir.

The campsite was perched along the Gunnison River. I gathered up some firewood just in time before daylight ran out. I enjoyed a nice campfire meal and reflected on the day’s travels before retiring to my sleeping bag as the cool mountain air and gentle flow of the river nursed me to peaceful sleep.

Friday

Morning broke and I cooked up an omellette and downed some fruit for breakfast before continuing my journey. I had to crest one last big pass (McClure) before heading into Carbondale. The descent from this pass was very pretty and dropped me into the Crystal River valley. I was driving in and out of clouds and along with the forest, mountains, and river, it felt very mystical, like something from Lord of the Rings.

I got to Snowmass Village around 10am. Supposedly this was when the course was open for pre-riding. Registration wasn’t until noon though. Even though I think the Village is incorporated, it is not laid out like a town at all, and wayfinding can be a little tricky for a newcomer. It took me a few hours of map hunting and studying to figure it all out. My plan was to pre-ride the course, but after seeing the grade of the ski slopes I figured an extra day of rest wouldn’t be a bad idea. I found my way to the registration area, got my packet, and began setting up base camp for Caveman Productions.

After lunch and setting up camp, I drove around the village to scope things out. Since this place is mostly known as a ski resort, it’s kinda dead in the summer, at least it was while I was there. Apparently, they are kinda snooty about camping out too. From what I understand, if you pitch a tent or park a RV anywhere in the village with the intent to stay overnight, you will get run of town. Coming from a mountain bike culture where camping at the venue is a given, I found this a little strange, and also inconvenient since I was on a budget and couldn’t fork out $100 a night for one of their fancy ski resort lodge rooms. However, after asking around, the general consensus was that I could probably stay in my tent I setup in the team area if I waited til dark and slipped in under the radar. So, I was tasked with passing the rest of the day until dark. Walking around the “mall” got old quickly. I picked a book and did some reading but got tired of that. I went back to my camp to clean my bikes and make sure everything was dialed in. This cool looking Wolverine guy on a steel singlespeed (Mike) had just finished his pre-ride and was setting up his camp close to mine. I asked if it was a singlespeed friendly course and all he said was “I brought the wrong gear!” The lowest thing he had was a 32-20, greatly overgeared for a course like this, but he had come from Atlanta and wasn’t used to the mountain terrain. I had a 21 cog on Proud Mary(setup single as a backup) and I offered to let him use it, which he greatly obliged! I still had a few hours to burn after this though.

After thinking a while what I could do, it dawned on me that Aspen was only about 15 minutes away, so I hopped back in the truck and headed to a real town. Aspen is a neat place. I could spend a few days there walking around and learning all the stores and restaurants and stuff to do. But sheesh, it’s even more expensive than Durango. It’s pretty, but just a little too high class for my Caveman taste. Before I knew it, it was getting close to 9pm and I was getting sleepy, so I found my way back to the Village and to my tent, where I was easily able to avoid the Snowmass gestapo. I didn’t sleep quite as well as the previous night since I was up higher, it got colder, there was some light and noise pollution infiltrating my humble abode, and it just didn’t quite feel like camping, but oh well, it was free and worked out.

Saturday-Showtime

Alarm wakes me at 5:30am. It’s cold out, and I’m still sleepy. Don’t feel like crawling out of the sleeping bag, but If I’m going to eat any breakfast at all, now is the time. I cook one egg and accompany with a banana and some grapes. After this, it’s busy time cutting up fruit, laying out energy bars, and just getting camp setup for the race. I have just enough time to get dressed and get my butt to the line for the 7am start.

My plan for this race is a page from the old school Caveman racing book. I’m not the top dog here, so I won’t be gunning it from the start like I do Texas. Instead, I will start slow, ramp it up, and finish strong attempting to overtake people who went out too hard later in the race.

The course is 7 miles long. It starts at about 8450′ and climbs straight up to 9950′ in about 2.75 miles. From the top you kinda ride some classic high forest singletrack with a little descending, and little more climbing, but mostly level for about a mile. There are some rock gardens, creek crossings, and twisty dirt trail before you begin the descent. At this point, you hang on for dear life. The initial descent is very rocky, rooty, and twisty. Letting it rip here is out of the question without a beefy all mountain or downhill bike. You eventually come to a service road where you can let ‘er rip for pretty much the rest of the way. I probably hit about 45mph before hopping back on some bermed switchbacks that were very bumpy but I was still able to ride very very fast. My YBS steel frame and new 2.2″ high volume Maxxis Ikon tires really helped smooth things out, although honestly, I was begging for a full suspension bike by the third lap.

I felt like I took lap one pretty easy, but it turned out to be my fastest lap of the day. By lap 2 it was warming up and I felt the legs come alive so I picked up the intensity and rode a good lap. Before lap 3, I took a break to shed layers and eat some fruit. As I started the long climb up, the legs all of sudden felt very heavy. This was both a good and bad thing. For ONCE while riding at elevation, my legs were slowing me down instead of my lungs! I was 2-3000 feet higher than Durango, but for whatever reason, breathing was not a problem this very day. Now my legs were! Any given race, it’s gotta be one of the other, and given the choice, I’d rather my legs be the limiting factor because I hate feeling like I have asthma. I can usually will my muscles to overcome pain, but I don’t have any control over my lung capacity.

So lap 3 hurt, but I got it done. I hung out with Valerie (Mike’s girlfriend and support crew) under their EZ up tent while I ate some fruit and tried to massage out my tight hamstrings. After about 10 minutes, things felt better and I was off for lap 4. The pain was starting to fade at this point as I settled into the sweet spot. It’s a euphoria that a lot of endurance athletes experience as cortisol, adrenal, and other fight or flight hormones build up in the body and for some odd reason you become buffered from pain. It is still there, it just doesn’t seem to bother you as much. Lap 4 was relatively calm, except that my upper body and kidneys began to hurt from the jarring of the technical descending.

Lap 5 was about the same and by the end of this lap I had crossed the 6 hour mark. If I kept the pace up, I’d probably be able to complete 9 laps before the 7pm cutoff. Starting lap 6, fatigue was really kicking in and the lungs were starting to catch up with the legs, but I wasn’t experiencing any debilitating injuries so I just focused on smooth climbing. As I began the descent, I must have hit something sharp because I heard the dreaded hissing of a small puncture in my rear tire. It sounded small, and as if the Stan’s sealant wouldn’t have a problem plugging it up. I stopped and spun the tire around and swooshed it a few times to get it to seal and it did. But it didn’t hold. I would ride a few hundred yards and it would open back up. I had to stop 4-5 more times on that lap and put some more air in, but it held long enough to get me back to base camp. Here, I popped the bead off and threw in some fresh sealant. I couldn’t get the tire to re-seat with my floor pump, but luckily, there was a neutral mechanic tent and they had an air compressor that easily got the job done.

With some new sealant and fresh confidence, I headed out for lap 7. The tire issue had set me back, but I still had time to make 9 laps if I booked it. Things were going fine until I began the descent and that familiar sound plagues me once more. I stop, take the wheel off, and swish it around until it plugs again. I end up having to do this twice more on this lap, but at least it’s working and getting me by. I could’ve thrown a tube in, but the descent was so rocky and rooty that I’d be risking a pinch flat. A three man team next to me running tubes actually ran out of tubes because of this problem.

I make it back to basecamp, and it’s apparent at this point that unless I create a miracle, will not be making 9 laps. So, for the 8th and final lap, I take a camera with me to snap some shots and just enjoy the scenery. Here is what some of the course looks like:

The starting climb up the service road. About 8% grade, maybe more in spots

Typical switchback climb across ski slope. This is what most of the climbing looked like.

About halfway up the mountain

final section of service road climb

Finally, the very top.

The way this race is formatted,you have to complete the final lap before the 12 hour mark. All other 12 hours I’ve done will allow you to start your last lap as long as you head out before 11:59:59. I finished my 8th lap at the 11:02 mark, and even though there was an hour left of racing, my lap times at this point were around 1:25, so there was just no way I could’ve finished a 9th lap before 7pm. Still, my effort was actually better than I had perceived it to be. It was good enough for 7th place out 18 solo men, and had I not had tire issues I would’ve had time for a 9th lap, which if completed, would have placed me in 4th place, at the worst, possibly even on the podium. So, I am very pleased with how things turned out and have no regrets about any decisions I made during the course of the race.

The earlier than expected finish actually gave me some time to pack up camp  and prepare for a hasty loading once cars were allowed to enter the team area. I was planning on driving back through Carbondale and down to a town called Redstone to find a place in the White River National Forest to camp that night, so this was time appreciated since I would be very tired and hungry.

I hung around a little at the awards ceremony and enjoyed a Fat Tire beer while conversing with my new friends from Atlanta. Mike had a tough time riding that singlespeed, and coming from sea level, but toughed it out for 5 laps for second place in the SS division. His girlfriend Valerie was very nice and actually volunteered to help me too since I was completely solo and helped Mike out by loaning the 21t cog. While I was prepared mentally and logistically to run this race completely solo, it was helpful having her there to lend a hand. Hopefully our paths will cross again some day.

I was on the road by 8:30 and tired as all get out, but the roads were empty and quiet. A full moon was just starting to rise across the horizon. I made it to the Redstone campground as planned, but what I didn’t plan on was $33/night fees. After studying the map they had at the info center, I noticed a forest road about a mile to the south. Usually, this means you can camp for free at sites that other people have sort of quasi-developed. The only way to know for sure is to have an official forest map with you indicating dispersed camping is allowed. I didn’t have one for this area, but figured I would find something to make do because I just didn’t have the energy to drive another hour to the next known camping area. The forest road was not marked off the highway, and I think I found it more by chance than skill, but I did find and after driving 3-4 miles looking for a evidence of a dispersed camping site,  I found something close enough perched between the road and a gently flowing creek. I was too tired to pitch a tent, so I pulled some stuff out of the truck, rolled my thermarest and sleeping bag out in the bed, and camp was made. I chowed down on jerky, hippy tortilla chips that came in the race packet, and leftover fruit before curling up into my bag. The moon was directly overhead now, and it was bright. I had to throw a shirt over my head to darken things up, and I slept, hard.

Sunday

I awoke to a cold, moist morning. Everything was covered in dew, and almost frosted, but not quite. I was able to get a better glimpse of my surroundings.

Pretty, I know, but I’m starving, so it’s time for a nice Caveman breakfast.

Delicious, and nutritious. Time to hit the road and wrap this awesome adventure up. Even though it’s the same route I took to get here, it has a completely different feel going the other way.

And different happenings…

Sheep are really stupid, but the guy in the Dodge eventually got them to move, and I slipped in behind him.

This time I did stop in Ouray to check things out and even imbibe a little:

I highly recommend the Box Canyon Brown if you ever find yourself in this quaint mountain town

I took my time coming through the mountain passes, stopping to enjoy the views and even do some mini hikes.

After Coal Bank Pass, it was a quick and easy cruise back into Durango, and my grand adventure was over. This was definitely one for the record books, and I can’t wait for the next one.

Shout Outs:

Many many thanks to Zoe Nance of Zoefitness who picked up the registration fee for this race. I’m flat broke right now and I wouldn’t have been able to make the trip were it not for her. Please check out her coaching services:

I’d also like to thank my mom and Nick Cirrincione who donated through the active giving page. This allowed me to use some of the money from Zoe  for travel and race expenses. Every little bit helped, and I am gracious for all the support from my family and friends. The $4 pint at the Brewery was my only non-essential expense of the entire trip, but sometimes you need a good beer after a hard race like this.

Stats:

The more Caveman I become, the less concerned I am with numbers. I no longer use a computer to track miles, time, avg. speed etc. I’ve never used a heart rate monitor or power meter or GPS, however, these are some #’s I happen to know anyways.

8 laps @7 miles each= 56 total miles. Men’s solo winner completed 10 laps

7th place of 18  Full results here.

last lap complete at 11:02 mark

1,600 elevation gain per lap=12,800 total feet of climbing

12,800 feet of mostly technical and rough descending

36 The miles per gallon I somehow got in my Mazda B2300 pickup. Unprecedented, especially considering the amount of mountain driving I did. Still baffled…

Notes:

The bike setup felt mostly good. I love the way my custom YBS frame fits and handles. The only thing that could be better is maybe something lighter, however, what goes up, must come down. As far as a hardtail goes, steel is probably the most forgiving and I was glad to have steel over carbon or aluminum on the descents. Aside from the frame, I would have also changed my gearing options. I currently have a 2×9 with 27/40 up front and 11-34 in the rear. Even the guys with 2×10 had 26-36 as a granny gear. The 27-34 got ‘er done, but I found myself grinding more than I wanted to. I’m not ready to make the switch to 10 speed, but will look into a 2×9 setup with 25/36 up front and 11-36 (they do make this in 9 speed now) in the rear.

Nutrition- For this race I wanted to go completely Paleo. I was about 90% successful. On the bike I drank only water, and only had one bottle per lap opposed to my usual 2. I drank a can of guava juice at a rest stop, so -2% for this. I mostly ate fruit-cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, strawberry, raspberry, and blueberries- and Larabars. One lap I did break down and eat a PBJ (-6%) that Valerie made me. On another lap, I ate some corn chips and took a hammer gel that came in the race packet. Otherwise, my Caveman staples served me surprisingly well. I don’t feel like I bonked or cramped at all. My fatigue was just a result of the ridiculous amount of climbing/rough descending, high elevation, and lack of conditioning. Super pysched that the Paleo diet continues work so well, give me an edge over my competitors, and lead a healthier lifestyle.

Til the next adventure beckons,
Caveman

 

 

12 Hours of Snowmass is just 4 days away. I’ve been riding as much as I can to prepare for it, but in all honesty, I’m not anywhere near the shape I need to be in for a race of this caliper. I thought I was acclimating to the elevation and getting used to the climbing, but two tough rides last week were quick to put me in my place. I’ve got my last tough ride tonight and after that I will focus on rest and other preparation. I will be completely on my own for this one, so food and liquid preparation will have to be extra meticulous.

If this is the first time you’ve heard of my decision to compete in this race (i.e. we aren’t facebook friends), I didn’t really have the funds to make the trip and put up the registration fee. Luckily, they offer an option for you to fundraise your entry fee through activegiving.com. I reckoned if  I could even raise half the fee I could somehow manage to cover the rest. I’m pleased to announce that ZoeFitness stepped up and agreed to pay my full race fee, so I will be representing Zoe’s team at this race, and possibly some future races. Thank you so much, Zoe.

I would also like to thank my dear mom and former NRC/pedalmasher teammate Nick Cirrincione for contributing $30 to the cause. If anyone else wishes to contribute, the channels are still open to do so. Please visit my fundraising page . All donations  benefit the Aspen Youth Center, a safe and supportive place for youth to connect, learn and grow.  Although I can now cover whatever I fall short of $150 (thanks to a check from ZoeFitness), any additional funds I raise will help me cover race expenses, of which there are a lot at a 12 hour race. Your help is greatly appreciated. I also promise to pay it forward once I’m back on my feet in this new chapter of my life.  Stay tuned next week for a race recap.

Now, on to the racoons.

Since moving here I’ve had to kill one skunk and a racoon. They were tearing stuff up and the skunk posed a bit of a “health” risk snooping around my back door. I popped another skunk with a shot the other night and after that felt kinda bad, since he got away and either died a slow painful death somewhere in the woods, or survived, but perhaps slightly disabled. I decided I was going to live and let live after that fiasco and wouldn’t shoot any more critters unless I really had to.

Well, last night, I was rudely awakened by a pack of 5 coons ransacking my outdoor cook station. They had knocked down my skillets and were all over them like white on rice. The grunting licking sounds they were making were just disgusting. I open the door and they just sit there and stare at me. Two of them don’t even care and are going to town on whatever it is (goose fat I think) that is left in the pan. I don’t want to shoot them at point blank range, (1) because I’m in the RV and the shot will be a little loud, (2) if i miss i might hit the pan and have a bad richochet and (3) i don’t wont racoon guts on my porch and pans. There happens to be a framing level right next to the door, so I grab that and bop ’em on the head a few times so they scatter towards the yard.

I grab the trusty 9 shot .22 revolver and walk into the cool night air wearing only a pair of boxers. The first shot goes off without a hitch. Can’t tell if I hit one because my flashlight is going dim. I do know there was mass movement of racoons though. I go around to the back of the storage shed and there are three of them hanging out by a tree. At this point,  I think they realize I am not messing around. Two of them hightail it up the trail while the stupid one gives me a blank stare.  Well, this one gets popped with a cap. I hear an awful grunting sound for a few seconds and then he runs away. Tough little booger.

I flank around to another storage container and see two of them trying to hide underneath it. I close in for a better shot and take it. Could’ve been the same one I already shot, could have been a different one, but I still had no confirmed kill. I’m ticked at this point and hear them running for the woods. I initiate pursuit, but they have good cover and my light is pretty much dead, plus I’m getting cold. So, the little bastards appear to have won this battle, albeit with some casualty. Next time, they won’t be so lucky. I’ll forego the modern destructive power of a revolver and instead jab ’em with a caveman spear I’m working on. This way I don’t have to worry about neighbors calling in gunshots too.