Long Tall Sally Is Here

Meet Long Tall Sally, the fiery redhead mail order girlfriend I’ve been hyping up the past few weeks. Colleen still isn’t sure what to think of her. At least Ladybird is happy knowing dad has another toy to ride so she can chase them around. Scott from YBS Bikes hand delivered her to me Saturday morning. She was built up that evening and this Sunday, the good Lord blessed me with ample sunshine, able body, sound mind, and mile after mile of classic Austin greenbelt singletrack to perform the christening. If you recall, YBS gave away a custom painted frame as part of the prize for winning 24 Hours of Rocky Hill. Unfortunately for me, it was a 26″ frame, and I only ride 29ers these days. They graciously offered a trade-in for a custom built 29er frame. Sally, here, is the final result. Silky smooth steel, awesome paint job, single speed specific, and did I mention fun?  Thanks to the guys at YBS for making it happen and thanks also to my shop sponsor Eastside Pedalpushers for helping with a few parts I needed to complete the build.

The full album can be viewed here. Enjoy these teasers in the meantime.

The Workout Time Forgot

As I’ve been getting back to some of my “Caveman” workouts recently to prepare for the upcoming Warda 12 hour, I’ve also been researching new Paleo publications and even working on a new Paleo marketplace to promote products or services I feel can greatly benefit individuals looking to change things up, lose weight, feel better about themselves, improve performance, get back in tune with nature, or whatever their case might be. I came across a fellow named Erwan La Corre who developed a site and movement called MovNat (Move Naturally). He was recently featured in Outside Magazine (click here for the online article) and I just wanted to share this with all my readers. If you think I’m a hardcore caveman, I pale in comparison to this guy. In fact, he has given me a benchmark to work towards. I appreciate modern conveniences, but a large part of me really wishes I could live in a place where throwing stones, lifting logs, hunting game, harvesting fruit/veggies, and gathering nuts/berries was more of an everyday necessity rather than a simulated exercise.  Maybe one day it will be. In the meantime, check out the article and be inspired.

Jurassic Beatdown

So the Parham family made it back safe and sound from the Mesozoic preserved section of Texas otherwise known as Glen Rose. While the dinosaur tracks were a few miles down the road at Dinosaur Valley State Park, this race would prove to be a Brontosaurus-sized task.

We arrived at Solavaca ranch at about 4:30pm Friday, enough time to squeeze in a 5/8 lap preride and setup camp. By that point though, it was already hovering near freezing. I was suffering from a headache that aspirin had no effect on and feeling kind of ill (dehydrated I think), even after eating a tasty chicken fajita dinner cooked on the truck tailgate and consumed inside the truck cab that the truck engine was attempting to heat up without much luck since it was just idling in a desolate undeveloped patch of the ranch that the goat livestock usually occupied, but we had been assigned to by the ranch owner since we had brought our dog and apparently it had been advertised on every facet of the internet that dogs were strictly forbidden (that’s another story)… but we ate and hopped in the sleeping bag real quick and went to bed.

Before Colleen or I could fall into deep sleep, Ladybird (the bandito dog) had wet the bed. We’ve let her sleep with us in the sleeping bag before on cold nights, and it has never been a problem, but she’s had an incontinence problem as of late and it couldn’t have picked a worse time to rear its ugly head. All of a sudden, Colleen’s right arm and my left arm felt a little wet. Then the dog was licking her fur trying to get that smelly stuff off. By this time the temps were in the teens working their way down to an eventual low of about 15d F. That’s actually the coldest weather either one of us has ever camped in. Lucky for us, we had a two person zero degree bag. Unluckily, the center section was full of dog pee. We put the dog on top of the bag and I threw my coat over her for some warmth. Colleen and I spent the rest of the night hugging the edges of the bag and trying to find a suitable position that was 1. warm enough to tolerate 2. comfortable enough to tolerate and 3. kept us out of dog pee. It was not an easy task, and needless to say, we didn’t get much rest that night. It didn’t help the water bottle I was sipping on to try and hydrate froze up

After one of the worst nights of sleep in my entire life, the sun came out and brought some new hope. I cracked open 2 frozen eggs, gulped ’em down, and topped that off  with a hard banana and some slushy orange juice. Breakfast of champions. I took my time getting registered, but paid for it by rushing to get dressed and set for the start.

Normally MTB races are started in waves, divided into skill category and further divided by age group. This would just be one mass start: 54 four hour males, 61 six hour males, a handful of relay teams in each event, and a handful of women in each event. All at once. I tried to get as close to the front as possible, but still got caught in lots of traffic on the first lap while the leaders took off. Fast starts,even at 6,12, and 24 hour races are very important to get past the slower riders that may have a good hole shot but slow to a crawl once the singletrack starts. I would have to settle for a laid back pace this first lap as the trail didn’t offer many good places to pass.

Things cleared up a little by laps 2 and 3 and I was picking up the pace. By lap 4 my hands and feet had thawed out but so had the morning frost, leaving behind a soupy mud over hardpack that you don’t sink into, but rather splattered all over your bike and struggled to hold your line with, especially in the corners. Even if you had the fitness to go faster, the mud just wouldn’t let you. Halfway into lap 5 I sprung a leak in my rear tire. Not enough sealant to plug it, so I had to throw a tube in while forfeitting several positions. I didn’t know where I was in the race anyways, I was thinking somewhere around 5th or 6th. With this dropping me to maybe 10th, I was ready to change focus from racing to just finishing and enjoying the ride.

Our campground was stationed at mile 5 of the 7.5 mile loop and this was where Colleen gave me feeds. I came through, restocked liquids, asked her to get me another tube, and grab the rear wheel off her bike and bring it over to the start/finish so I could switch wheels there. Another 2.5 miles later we made the switch and I was out for lap 6. It’s just not my nature to sit back and let a race go by while I’m cruising around though. Yes, it was a rough night, a bad start, a unlucky flat, and yes, I was beginning to accept the fact that I was just plain out getting my butt handed to me, but I refused to die easy.

The sun was shining brightly, the temps were now around 60, most of the muck was drying up and turning into a fast tacky clay , I had found a second wind. I moved up maybe 4 spots but eventually gave up 1 on the last lap as my mental grit deteriorated. Ended up in 10th place out of 61 with 9 laps in 6:19:27. All things considered, I was pleased with the effort. I didn’t have much more to give, and the race was a good indicator of where my fitness stands right now in preparation for Warda-ok, but not where it needs to be- a B- at best. It’s normally a let down when you enter a race like this and expect to do better, but I’ll be able to take home some lessons and gains I can use down the road.

A few days rest, and its back to training. I should be meeting my new girlfriend in person by Friday. I’ll let you know how the first date goes…

 

Mid term exam

It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep… moving…forward.

-Rocky Balboa, the greatest motivator who ever lived.

It’s time to take a break from training and hit the road for the first test of 2011, a 6 hour MTB race at Solavaca ranch near Glen Rose, TX. I’m hungry for some competition, heck, I’m just plain hungry. P90X and riding in the cold have trimmed all that holiday fat off and worked up quite an appetite. Should be a great day to race with ample sunshine and temps in the 35-60 degree range.  Been a while since I’ve done a 6 hour race, the last one being at San Angelo in October 2008. The key here is to not pace yourself. Sure, you might blow up and bonk after 4 hours, but that is a chance one must take.

You have to be willing to lose the race in order to win the race. If you are not willing to make that risk, you will never win the big races.

-I have no clue who said this, but it is true

So that is the game plan. Someone on the DORBA forum challenged who would be the one to crank out 11 laps. If I have any say, it’ll be ME! Proud Mary is dialed in with gears and a squishy fork (apologies to my hardcore rigid SS fans, but the course has some fast sections that favor tall gears) and ready to rip it. Win or lose, should be a great time and some great preparation for the Warda 12 hour coming up.

Now for some unrelated news. This past week I got a sneak peek at my new mail order girlfriend. Her favorite color is blue. She is old school, but new school. Hard, yet soft. Elegant and refined, yet gritty. She is a smoking hot redhead.

Colleen is likely to harbor feelings of jealousy towards this beauty, much like the wife did towards the leg lamp in Christmas Story, but that’s tough luck, because I won her fair and square, and I expect her to provide years of faithful service. Here is a little sneak peek for those of you a little bit curious about this new female figure in my life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check back in next week for a race update and more info about the new girlfriend.

-Caveman

No Easy Way Out

It’s 5:30pm on a Friday. The bars across town are just starting to stir from the white collar 5 o’clock whistle. Comrades are striking up cheerful conversation over beer and maybe talking bad things about their bosses behind their backs. Me? I’m throwing on my wool kit getting ready to hop on my rigid single speed and head down to the greenbelt for a long night ride. It’s cold out, and drizzly. I make it to the trail and let the gray day burn off its last bit of twilight before switching on my Ayup lights. The fast trip through downtown left me wondering if my wool jersey and arm warmers would be enough to keep me warm, especially since it was drizzling, but that became an afterthought as the trees  broke the wind and the demands of the trail elevated my heartrate. Soon, it was just me, some rabbits, my bike, a little bit of mud, and a lot of very slippery rocks out in the Barton Creek Wilderness contemplating the night. The overgrown vegetation was happy to share its excess moisture with my shoes and leg warmers. No biggie until another hour passed and all of sudden my legs and feet felt cold. Hunger began to enter my stomach. My body was feeling the fatigue of a week full of hard workouts after much time away. No matter. I put these superficial feelings away in the hurt locker, but not before throwing away the key. My prize is greater than warmth, food, or rest. It is knowing that when the time comes, I’ll be ready to overcome such adversities. There is a lot of truth in the saying about football: “It’s 10% physical and 90% mental.” That doesn’t quite translate to mountain biking, but in several instances the difference between 1st and 5th is decided by mental grit.

There’s no easy way out in this sport. You want results? You gotta work for them. When it’s cold, dark, and rainy, but it’s the only time you have to ride, you gotta leave that trainer at home and suck it up. When you’d rather watch TV than do an excruciating strength session, don’t expect to beat that guy who always beats you because he pays his dues. You get the picture. Now sit back and enjoy the greatest training montage of all time from Rocky IV. It came in fromNetflix yesterday and I was super pumped I got to watch it one more time…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8xHjC27YvM&fs=1&hl=en_US]

Now, turn your computer off, get up off your rump, and go do something.

Hello 2011!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs&fs=1&hl=en_US]

What a long December it was indeed. 2010 had its ups and down, its successes and failures. I spent the beginning of the year without a job trying to figure out where I wanted to take my career. Then I saw an infomercial on late night TV about real estate investing and thought that it could be something I enjoyed and be good at. The income potential looked pretty good too!  So it was, I got some credit cards, bought some real estate study courses, went to seminars, racked up a little debt, went through a crazy intense process to purchase a house with hardly any money, fixed it up on my home depot card and lots of elbow grease, tried to sell it, didn’t work out, and so now I’ll be renting it instead, only, all the debt it took to get it is still on the books… Meanwhile, racing was out of the picture. Couldn’t afford it and didn’t have time to train. It was a necessary sacrifice, but one I knew I’d be able to redeem when the business was up and running…Meanwhile, I got married to my Colleen Rose. We moved in together, got a dog, consolidated stuff, and began our life as a happily married couple. Then one day late summer I noticed this 24 hour race was around the corner and even though I had sworn off racing in 2010, this one race I had to prepare for and do…and so I did, and somehow won. Then a month later another 24 hour race that wasn’t even on the radar but netted a big return. Then it was December. Colleen was out of work and real estate investing wasn’t quite what the gurus had said it would be, at least not yet, so it was back to good ole contract architecture work. Lots of it. It’s been enough to pay the bills and put food on the table, thank God, but nothing more. To say that things have been a little tight at the Parham house is a slight understatement, but we’ve got all the necessities of life and lots of love. It’s actually nice going through a period like this because you learn to truly separate need from want. After a few weeks of living without some of those “wants” you wonder why you ever wanted them in the first place, and all of sudden you are spiritually and financially more independent. But I digress…

Falling off the wagon may hurt a little, but getting back on is what really hurts. Riding, nutrition, sleep, and general health/sanity have all taken a back seat to work and just trying to make end’s meat since the 24 hour race in November. I did dabble a little in some cross races mid december, but the last one in Pflugerville was a real butt whoopin and set up a slew of sickness that Colleen and I are just now getting over. I ate horribly over the holidays. I didn’t exercise at all. I’ve been putting in 18 hour work days.  It isn’t the most interesting work, but it’s paying the bills and putting food on the table while Colleen seeks out a new job. I really hate to abandon my real estate efforts since I had just covered an exciting new program that I felt pretty confident in, but the problem was that it would need more money to start marketing and I wasn’t guaranteed a profit for perhaps 60 days+. So I went back to doing something I’m good at and pays a bit quicker. As mentioned, I’ll be holding on to the first investment house as a rental. After weeks of looking for an investor friendly lender and countless “Sorry, we can’t help you’s”, Colleen’s folks agreed to co-sign (Thank you so much Quindlens!) and the refinance was approved. I’ve very good tenants in place so at least it will start cash flowing instead of cash sucking and this December headache will be a nice asset in the years to come. I just wrapped up a large architecture project, so I’ll be able to go back to 8 hour work days and start training again. I would like to try for a 3 peat at the Dirty Dozen 12 hour in a month. That gives me 3 solid weeks of training. Not much to work with, but I’ve done it before and I reckon I’ll do it again. Hopefully the new custom made frame from YBS bikes will be ready to try out by then. If not, Proud Mary is always ready to go. Speaking of bikes, I’m thinning the herd to make room for the new bike, and to pay off some debt that is dragging me down. Big Tex the fully 29er, Miller the singlespeed cross bike, and Ross the lugged steel commuter are all for sale. I’m also considering selling the 1986 Trek Elance 440 road bike. Let me know if you or anyone you know is interested!

So, it’s back to the saddle, back to P90X, back to strict Paleo Diet, back to caveman workouts, and back to pain. Lots of character building pain. Maybe mother nature will throw me a little luck again this year with some epic mud and freezing weather to slow the competition down. I can’t say that I particularly enjoy these conditions, but I do excel in them! On a positive note, I did get off to a good start New Years day with the Polar Bear Swim at Barton Springs, then a nice 3 mile run in my boxers for the 2011 underwear run, and topped off the day with a nice mountain bike ride at Walnut Creek. Here’s to a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2011!